Sphere: Dream Machine
by LittleZebragus
Summary: Engineer is stumped trying to create a multipurpose machine, only to have all sorts of things go awry and jeopardize the lives of the ones he cares for the most. Things only get weirder from there. Contains: Swearing & phonetic accents.
1. With apologies to Scooby Doo

**_A/N: _**_Yes, this is an homage to a concept Michael Crichton wrote about. With extra stuffing on top. Yum. Dedicated to a friend who currently has a blue cloud hanging over her head._

* * *

-Tues. Sep. 4, 1973-

Under dim lights, a generous layer of blueprints were spread atop the desk, their plans indecipherable to everyone but the man who mapped them out. A gloved hand swept across the workspace sent them floating to the floor. Truth be told, they were utter nonsense and he knew it. This assignment was impossible, or at least Engineer thought it was. The supply train hauling scraps and a month's worth of food for everyone wasn't going to arrive on time. He didn't have much choice but to recycle his teleporters for this thing to work. Its latest incarnation projected hazy holographic images which fizzled out in the same minute.

Now, Engie was holed up in his quarters revising the most recent plan. He spent another hour tinkering with the Frankenstein of a machine, enhancing what was desired. It was an unusual request with a tight deadline, and it didn't help that he wasn't exactly sure what the machine's purpose was.

A creak in the door yanked his gaze away from his precious work to be greeted with an apprehensive, if not impatient face poking inside.

"Yo, hardhat. When're you coming ta dinner?" It was Scout, one of the few people who called him by that moniker.

Engineer saw the unusual lack of bravado in the speed demon as a bad sign, or he was getting really good with the 'puppy eyes' charade.

"Like, seriously man. It's just strange without ya. Solly's about to wring Spy's neck in there for insultin' the 'very essence of America' or some shit like that."

"Alright," Engineer's voice was soft, "be there in a jiffy. One more tap of the wrench and I'll call it a night," In spite of his words, he turned back to tinkering with the machine at a frenzied pace. Tightening screws, oiling creaky joints and checking the flux capacitor which allowed the wonder of teleporting to be a reality. The possibilities didn't end just there, but there was no room for daydreaming about it right now. Engineer looked over his shoulder to find Scout standing behind him, pouting like a little kid. Was the conflict that heated?

Heavy was in the base's kitchen and there's no doubt the bear of a man was capable of restraining the hot blooded jingo. He craned his head towards the clock on the wall, looking at it pensively for a moment. 9:45 at night was a bit late for having dinner, but not entirely news to him. Everyone ribbed each other between bites every day. Sometimes, Engineer felt like he was babysitting a gaggle of children.

Scout was looming over the shorter man's shoulder, eyeballing the work as if it were a squashed beetle. "I mean, what're ya even buildin'? Looks like it came outta Merasmus' freakin' stomach!"

Engineer would've stayed in the workshop, ignoring the lanky youth and everyone else, if only his gut didn't gurgle in protest. Or, he could be an honest gentleman and say he wouldn't (and couldn't) spill the beans. Everyone in the fortress knew Scout couldn't keep a secret any longer than he can keep his jaws from flapping.

"Look boy," Engineer began, "I'll come to the kitchen when I'm done with this prototype. I'd prefer to be alone right now, and if you-"

"Aw cheese, man!" Scout cut him off, "You've been sayin' that all night! Like, what is your deal? You been actin' like some chipmunk dodgin' sniper fire or what, like you're hidin' something. C'mon, serious, you can tell me," He tried to sound sympathetic, but his wide grin left Engineer incredulous.

The Texan laid his wrench on the table, hopping off his chair and conceded to leaving the workbench for a while. That was the only thing he'd do willingly. He knew that keeping this up would harbour some unsavoury rumours, but the machine...

Engineer felt a heavy knot form in his gut upon admitting to himself it'll have to wait. Dabbing the beads of sweat on his head with a rag, he let out a restrained sigh. If the others were so insistent on him having a meal, why didn't they just bring the grub over to him? They were pretty darn vicious earlier today with their saccharine glee for sending BLU gibs flying everywhere and could barely cooperate on a more personal level in and outside of battle. Then again, everyone's in the gig mostly for money. He had to admit that it was much the same for him, but for a far more noble cause.

Scout shut the door and followed behind Engineer just a few paces in an almost obedient manner, then the knot in the latter's gut dropped what felt like fifty feet. He couldn't think, the walls felt tight and his mind sped around like a horde of hornets.

They knew. Those two words formed clear and concise amid the buzzing in his head.

* * *

Heads turned to face the door, where the sound of footfalls grew louder. Enter Engineer, looking as solemn as a man who attended his own funeral. He pulled out a chair for himself and sat at the table's corner. There was a plate in front of him full of mystery meat, mashed potatoes and peas.

As expected, some of the mercs bore through Engineer with unfaltering stares. Well, it was difficult to tell with Pyro's mask obscuring his face, but its likeness to an unblinking bug's head unnerved him more. Granted, he, or rather _xe,_ never ate in the same room as everyone else. Following that, _xir_ plate was empty and everyone else was halfway through the slop. Well, except Spy, who looked at the stuff as though it were bovine excrement. Medic held a half lidded gaze with his fingers steepled, as if thinking deeply about something. Scout had already taken his seat beside Demo, wolfing down the remains like he'd starve tomorrow- much to Spy's visible distaste.

Then the thin youth talked without swallowing his food, "Ish anyon gunna brig th nrws or whurt?"

"Oh, please labourer, it wouldn't kill you to chew wiz your mouth closed so you wouldn't spatter zat filth everywhere," Spy made no effort concealing his snarl.

"F yer not gunna eat that, Iw trrk it."

Spy pushed his plate over to Scout and rested his elbow on the table, burying half his face in one hand.

"Bet you twenty moolah Spoi wouldn't last a day in th' outback," Sniper whispered to Heavy, who gave a small smile and a light nod.

"Fellas," Engineer piped up, "could we jes' git this elephant out of the room? Y'all ain't actin' like yourselves one bit! I got Scout bustin' inta my space to say Soldier's about to wring somebody's neck, and y'all are sittin' here quietly like you're waitin' for somethin' to happen!"

"You bet your _ASS_ it almost happened, private! And I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for that _meddling commie_!"

"'Not acting like ourselves' you say?" Medic reflected coolly, "Zhat's humourous coming from our local recluse. I've noticed you were more reluctant to set up your gear further avay from zhe entrance. Ve all did. It vent on for veeks and may have been responsible for a few losses. And zhat's not all, ve haven't not taken notice of your teleporters' disappearence from zhe field."

"He's stitched them together and now they look like some freakin' Eldritch abomination from H.P. Dumbcraft or whatever the hell his name is," Scout announced after swallowing a gob-full of Spy's dinner.

"Well, 's not like I had the materials to build it, and I figured sparin' the sentry was a better idea on the account of you guys bein' able to mosey over to BLU's fortress well on yer own and the adage of a good defense bein' a great offense. Besides, the technology that goes in a teleporter is different from any old sentry in one way," He wasn't sure how he could explain what a flux capacitor was without resoting to layman's terms, but on one hand he had half the team leaning in to listen. He felt like a fist was balled up in his throat at the very prospect of telling even half the truth of the matter.

"I needed to... um... err," he knew what to say, but not how to make it palatable so not to worry anyone, "I wanted to revolutionize the way we travel and make enough dough to retire-"

"Tiny man is leaving?" Heavy looked shaken. Everyone exchanged glances except Spy, who didn't flinch a bit.

"No! I mean, well, sort of! I'm just tired of fightin' is all," And it didn't seem too much of a stretch given he was perhaps the most humble of the team.

"He's saying he's a half hippie and all yellow bellied Canadian!" Soldier barked, "But there is no such thing as a halfer. A dirty hippie's a filthy hippie and I'll have you know-" Demo cut him off with an elbow to the American's ribs. He could see Soldier's eyes flash for a moment shooting daggers from them.

"You're serious, man?" Scout squeaked.

"Listen, I'm not keen on leavin' you fellas either. I couldn't keep half the cash if I went, the thing is..." Engineer's drawl trailed off as he found his hand pulling an envelope from his pocket and sliding it towards the table's centre. Spy picked it up deftly, scrutinizing the messy lettering on it while removing the contents. Sniper and Demo both tried to make out the word, or words, on the envelope but their efforts were fruitless.

"Some bloody wanker prob'ly wrote this with a broken hand or that's a language barrier we're gawking at."

"Aye, or th' laddie's drunk offa his arse," Demo chuckled mirthlessly, passing the unintelligible writing to Scout.

"Dunno what this crap is, it looks like he was taking notes from 'Mumbles' over there. And lookit this, no return address, no stamps, no nothin'!"

"Mmmph!" Pyro crossed xir arms as a display of contempt. "Mrrmhrmph hnna nrr hmph!"

"It's gotta be a joke from those maggot munching BLUs, trying to mind control our asses and transform us into Mary Jane lovin' PINKOS!" Soldier slammed his fist on the table. "And I will not tolerate any of that! No self respecting American does unless they've scrapped their values!"

"It does not appear to be from ze BLUs at all," Spy chewed his cigarette, "it would seem highly unlikely zey'd ask for legal tender. Zey earn approximately ze same amount as any of us."

"Da, they look lots like us too. Is creepy."

Engineer poked at his dinner while watching the others lose their composure. The meat tasted like poultry, but a little on the sweet side. Now, he was just waiting for the moment everyone figures out the bigger issue at hand. If he was honest, his appetite had been compromised. Only kept going out of necessity and to keep the rest from worrying more than they ought to be.

"Zis anonymous sender wants more than zat, and zey included Engineer's home address. Are you all understanding zis, mes amis?"

"Tha's blackmail," Demo took a nervous swig of his scrumpy, "the slimiest method ta get anythin' ya want. An' if yer slippery enough, you can git away without the consequences."

"Hey hey hey hey! Lemme see that!" Scout nabbed the paper from Spy's hands, "This guy wants a freakin' machine that projects images or somethin' before November, or else they get their hands on Hardhat's family," Scout cringed like he'd tasted something sour.

"You don't suppose it's vone of zhose conspiracy theorists who cling to zhe idea zhat ve are responsible for Teufort's education system dipping into zhe muck? Considered zhat people vanted us hung about a year ago, it's not so 'out zhere' as a possibility." Medic thought out loud.

"If they are angry with us, why not just get directly to the point?"

"Because it's more fun, ze intended target suffers from grief and worse zan a mercy kill clean through ze skull. Surely a young- what's the word? -'whippersnapper' in zis business would've figured zat out by now," Spy took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled a plume of smoke.

"Nobody knows a coward better than a coward, hyeh," Soldier received another blow to his side as Spy tried not to show his exasperation brought on by the mocking of both his profession and heritage.

"I don't suppose ya could trace where this back to where the bludger sent it from, spook?"

Engineer had attempted earlier calling HQ for investigative services, to which the Administrator herself thought was a joke given his job. The call was ultimately a waste of his time. He almost recanted that thought about the mercs being like rowdy children in favour for one of a close, yet dysfunctional family. They were no Sherlock Holmes, smart guys like himself and Medic were intelligent, but in different fields of study. Spy was the closest thing to what the team had as a detective, but his methods were often underhanded. Fair enough, it would level the arena a little. Adding the seething brawns of everyone else should have the crook's goose cooked. Then again, the crook may be anticipating this, hence the blatant attempt to cover his tracks.

"I'll see what I can do. Ze fact zis scoundrel found us is worrisome enough. He's after our patent too, after all. Who knows what he intends to do wiz it when he gets his hands on it?"

"Uhm," Scout began, "yo Engie, why'd ya agree ta this? You're screwin' yourself either way."

"Zat is how manipulation works. Confine ze target in a dilemma restricting blatant deviations and strangle compromised deals. Zey want a strict 'win-lose' conclusion and won't let guilt hinder zem," Spy threw a glare at the young man for emphasis, "and zey don't always keep to zeir words."

"That's a very poetic way of puttin' it, Spah, but I started workin' on this thing around the same time as the letter came in. Had a different means for it in mind and then, BAM. Honest to God, I had this idea for months afore. Kept them blueprints locked up nice n' tight in the filing cabinet, too," He trailed off again and froze upon remembering something.

"Thrr mmmn uhm unn thrr brdding!" Pyro grabbed xir mask facsimile of Edvard Munch's 'The Scream', letting loose more muffled groans.

"Scout," Engineer's voice was hushed, "didja close my workshop's door?" To that, he gave a stiff nod.

"It wasn't locked." He recoiled once he knew what the Texan was aiming for.


	2. -Panic-

**_A/N:_**_ Never thought this story would get the amount of press that it did. Needless to say, I'm happy. Writing this chapter was very difficult, actually. I have the plot points planned, but connecting them is another thing. I apologize for the amount of fiat you may notice in advance, I do try to flatten those bumps to the best of my ability. Things were really tough for the month with my friend being in a horrible state and all. Get well soon, Ornis!_

* * *

"I believe ze Pyro said 'the man is in ze building'." Spy said coolly, tucking the note in one of his coat pockets.

"Then what are we sitting here yubbing about for? We better lock down the whole place and scope out the bloody piker before he gets out, then!" Sniper bolted up from his seat and out the kitchen.

They wasted no time arming themselves with a selection of their signature weapons as Pyro and Engineer approached the workshop with caution.

Spy cloaked himself and snuck around the top floor in case the maniac was up there. Soldier marched down the halls on the opposite end carrying his trusty Mr. Shovel to decapitate the intruder, or any unlucky sap who surprises him, really.

Demo and Scout were situated in the basement of the fortress, where wires and tubes wormed in and out the walls connected to a giant computer. There were only so many places in there for a crook to hide himself in there, with the added risk of electrocution. Heavy and Sniper took the outdoors, with the latter on the roof scanning for any suspicious movement. Medic stood guard just outside of the sickbay doors with Archimedes perched on his shoulder and his bonesaw at the ready.

Most walls weren't soundproof, which meant if any loud noises cued them in, the mercs could rush to where they hear it.

The workshop's door handle turned slowly under the whim of a latex-gloved hand and the door creaked faintly. They planned to go in slow and then pounce on whoever that might be in there.

Pyro had xir flamethrower and Engineer borrowed the firebug's axe. Engineer had suggested the flamethrower was a mite too much and could burn down the building, to which Pyro countered with it being better in xir hands and not some guy who'd surely bring the place down to ashes.

Then they kicked it open, nearly knocking the door off its hinges. Pyro budged past Engineer, leaping in and shooting small bursts of flame, but it was for naught. Nobody was in there.

"Hnnna hnn." _Disappointment._

Engineer moseyed in after as sure-footed as one would be when walking near a cliff, observing the state of the perimeters. Papers, wrench, toolbox, everything was where he remembered. His tensed muscles went lax, though it didn't feel right to him for the time being.

"Well Smokey, looks like your barbecue's gonna hafta wait a while." He gave a mirthless clap on Pyro's back as he somberly made his way to the contraption resting upon the desk with its interior exposed. It sickened him how it almost resembled a dead creature in a dissection pan.

Pyro's head darted around like a nervous insect caught in a jar before xir eyes landed on the short man. Some muttering and exaggerated gestures were all it took to remind Engineer that they came here to maul someone who wasn't around and to lock the garage door tightly. Once that was out of the way, the blueprints were stashed away and the machine tucked in a box from underneath that squeaky old cot.

And they took the sentry with them just in case.

* * *

Sniper was bored witless as he eyed his watch. For a dangerous crook to stir up a metric tonne of fear without making a show to keep it going, that was definitely something that made him wonder if this was a ruse. Heavy had been marching gallantly at first, but now his steps dragged a slight. He'd been humming Russian folk songs to himself in order to stay motivated all the while. It felt like an hour since both hearts beated with excitement, but the reality was they were only out for sixteen minutes.

The Aussie watched Heavy through his rifle's scope, occasionally pulling away to get a wide view of the battlefield where they got gibbed every day for a while now. Every once in a blue moon both teams were transferred to a different location, and as beat up as the RED fortress was, it had a rustic charm to it that some would call home. As for the BLUs...

He went back to scoping, only this time peeping through the windows of the fortress opposite to theirs. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. The silhouettes writhed in animosity for one another, with one leaving bent over in defeat.

Back to business.

If the maniac wasn't out, that probably meant the whole building was shut tight or somebody had him cornered. Hope for the best, expect the ugly, and keep in mind it could get worse than one would imagine. He saw the big man petting a tiny grey tabby cat and shouted down at him to stay focused. The tabby skittered away into a garbage tin beside the base.

"Where is tiny man?" Heavy inquired, readying Sascha for boring holes into the intruder.

"There's nobody out yet," Sniper hated how he sounded like an impatient 'snake-eater'. "Wait a minute... who's that? Bloody hell, I shoulda expected this would happen!"

The BLUs were racing out of their base armed and furious, and the Aussie found himself ducking behind the walls avoiding one of their Soldier's rockets. Heavy roared like a grizzly, gunning them down on reflex. Sniper snuck around another corner and took a peek. It was far from the first time they'd fought under the stars, but Sniper was certain they were violating a clause under the health guidelines of their contract. Then again, everything Mann Co. produced was flimsy at best and wrought with loopholes, some of them intentional.

The battlegrounds lit up in brief bursts of orange and the air was polluted with the noise of gunfire as a screaming red blur shot past him and landed on top of somebody with a grody crunch.

Soldier. Always eager for a fight, the hot blooded hooligan. Couldn't argue his way out of a wet paper bag and it nearly got him killed off for real. Or would it just have made the body disappear and throw the townsfolk into hysterics? Now was an awful time to question the capabilities of the respawn system. Sniper had bigger things to worry about, like where that slimy BLU Spy could be slinking.

Speak of the devil's duplicate, the RED Spy materialized leaning against the wall beside the bushman, looking less than pleased.

"I gather zey thought we were trying to sneak a few kills."

Sniper returned to his scope with an eye on the opposing Pyro and a headshot in mind, however the splash of thick blood came from grazing the gullet. The BLU fell to their knees and collapsed. Good enough.

"I doubt the bastard we're looking for would come out with this fray going," Sniper's voice was low and gravelly, "that is, if he existed at all."

"Oui, I'm afraid I may have scared the excrement out of zis team. Now we're literally losing sleep over it." Spy mused, looking over the wall casually as one would do watching a sport or an underwhelming firework show.

"May have? Lookit what's happened!" Sniper got up and clamped his hands on the Frenchman's shoulders, spun him around and kicked him over the edge. "If yer gonna complain, might as well do something besides standing around looking smug for the other sniper to blow a red fountain from the neck up!" He ducked again and crept to a different vantage point, but not without a cursory glance at the miserable splat that was his comrade splayed on the ground. Hell, he should've known someone as bony as the spook couldn't handle a drop from that height.

He had almost reached his new hiding spot until BLU Soldier flew in front of him from a rocket jump, pulled out a shovel and hacked at what would've been Sniper's shoulder if he didn't dodge the spade. Its owner was bloody foaming through his grinding teeth like he'd been bitten by a raccoon.

* * *

"Hey, ya hear that? They're having a party and forgot to invite us!" Scout was agitated as he hopped up the steps.

"I don't remember that bein' in our schedule, lad."

"You already don't remember a bunch of things! We gotta move, our team's getting their asses kicked!"

Demo stepped out from a claustrophobic crevice he was checking, rolling his good eye. Keeping up with the speedster was a chore enough without hearing him parrot phrases ripped from other people. And worst of all, he showed no signs of tiring out. Demo cast a few sidelong glances behind him as the twitchy boy atop the staircase hopped from one foot to another waiting very impatiently.

He shrugged and caved in. Besides, there hadn't been any activity more suspicious than sparks flying from wires that were old and needed replacing several years ago. Demo recalled a time when he helped wrap up a few strands with duct tape and disposing the mice corpses in the vicinity. By the look of it, they hadn't learned their lesson at all.

He bounded up the steps and they both found Engineer hefting a toolbox under his arm about to head into the field.

"Howdy pardner," he was cordial, "It appears somebody rustled up some trouble."

"Could say tha' again," Demo laughed mirthlessly. "S'much as I like reminding the BLU bastards Lucy's gonna glue 'em back together in hell, they couldn't 'ave picked a worse time for it."

"Like, honestly do we even care about this loser who didn't show up? Must've turned chicken 'cuz we're friggen awesome!" Scout just had to make that interjection. Engineer was exasperated, but did his best to hide it. Demo shot a look of disapproval and thumbed toward the field, indicating he should go without them.

"Fine, jeez! You're no fun." Scout deflated for a moment, but quickly gathered posture and leapt into the fray.

Demo didn't hesitate letting Engineer know his concern with the current condition of the respawn machine. He made sure not to make it sound like it was about to malfunction at any minute now. What the Texan did was toss the workshop's key to Pyro and tell xir to get the duct tape and patch things up.

"Don't worry 'bout me, just go on an' git."

The firebug didn't protest, neither agreed with the plan entirely. Hell, they were leaving their hinds open to Spies! If only they knew what face the Pyro made underneath, the sullen mimicry of a frown xe drew with their fingers spoke little of the disapproval. Xe rounded the corner without "mmphing" or acting another word anyway.

Demo felt a stone in his gut, it was not unlike a rainy scene in a movie when someone rejects a stray. Perhaps it was too long since he was noticeably intoxicated, for he thought the Engineer's sanity slipped a few pegs and the detonation expert himself normally wasn't keen on this sort of thing. How much scrumpy was left? A jiggle of the bottle told him there was only a splash of it left. He poured it down his gullet.

"How the bloody hell did this scrap arise?" Demo wearily leant against the interior.

"Beats me sideways, pardner. Ain't nobody's keeping score this time around, an' got none a clue how ta stop it."

"...Or how it ends on its own." He thought out loud while the shorter man proceeded up another flight of steps.

"You're sober, aren't ye?"

* * *

The large computer hummed quietly, not quite drowned out by the cacophony from outside. It emanated this sound every instance a merc was killed. Gibs were teleported, reconstructed on a molecular level with fine accuracy, and sent to the sickbay. All done within the safety of the bowels the base provided. The after effects are minimal with a short moment of the pins and needles sensation and curt throbbing in the head. It also scooped up the weapon and placed it back in the merc's hands like a parent returning a child's lost toy. How it operated was largely a mystery.

The roll of tape and a pair of scissors had been dropped into a box, which was then snuck into this place. The others can save their own asses from a one 'mister pinstripe pantsuit' no problem. It was quite petty to be frustrated over that, as this simple little task wasn't going to take too long before -as Engineer put it- xe could finally get that 'barbecue' started.

Peeling the tape is quite uphill when the end was perfectly flattened, even with the scissor blade wedged under the sticky side. Overshoot it and more than the glove could get sliced. How many pieces were needed? Not much, thank Cthulu.

Pyro placed the tape on gingerly as one would dress an injured finger. It suddenly made a lot of sense they sent the guy covered head and foot for this. Just for fun, xe imagined what would've happened if a stray spark leapt at Soldier.

Once Pyro was sure all the wires were tended, xe hid the box between blinking mainframes and tore out of the room, but not forgetting to lock it. Xe could deal with Engie boiling over and getting tongue tied over the contraption's misplacement later. It was better than leaving it where everyone expected it, xe thought.

A cursing Medic rounded the corner, coming straight at Pyro, to which the latter skidded as xe was hastily grasped by the shoulders. Medic's face was tense with a mix of anger and eyes peeled back with fear.

"You must stay here," he heaved, "team needs me. Somezhing, or somevone is here."

Pyro nodded.

"I lost zhe schwinehund, you go after him, okay?!"

More nodding, and 'mmphing'.

"I don't zink zhe team heard me screaming, but zhere is somevone heading into zhe rear of zhe building." He spoke rapidly. It almost sounded like gibberish to the firebug.

The German shoved xir away, cursing the team's reactive tactics as he backtracked down another corridor. Pyro regained their balance and rushed into the back. There were only so many places to hide, and xe knew where everyone forgot to look.

* * *

A miserable splat of blood on the ground dragged on to a place where a medikit was and continued up to the body propping itself behind a barrel with his knees held close to his chin. _Merde_, that bushman was as hotblooded as he was foul smelling. Spy never grew accustomed to tarnishing his suit, despite years of experience with wetwork.

He regretted riling the team up if he knew it would come to this, but only a bit. It contradicted his air of hoity-toity-uptight-cheese-surrender-monkey but he had no shame for schadenfreude, even if it meant tripping up his own faction.

Okay, maybe it was Pyro's fault, too. He simply translated the mush-mouthed freak's ramblings as accurately as he could. Or at the very least what he thought the guy said. Anger rolled up inside him up to his clenching teeth, which he didn't notice until now. _You are a Spy, you must remain in control_.

Only feeling half the conviction of his thoughts, he determined it would cause a greater panic to disguise as a member of his own and run in there. Sure, BLU was raving mad at the others right now, yet the minute he makes a show of himself, everyone gets their underwear knotted. It was humourous how they were raring to go at this time, of all things. They were probably lethargic to some degree, but not enough to impair their judgment. With his bruised pride and a throbbing pain in his ribs, he'd have to slink around another way.

He feigned being an injured BLU, calling for their Medic and receiving a few puffs of medigun fumes. An arc of light flashed and plunged its way into the doctor's head, to which the man shrieked and collapsed. Clueless goosestepper didn't suspect a thing, but their coffee-grinder-toting-gorilla sure did. _Not good_.

He didn't cloak on time. Spurting blood gave him away. The BLU buffoon perforating him bellowed like the world would be swallowed up tomorrow.

Par with fox hunts, BLU dogpiled him in a strange blend of fear and amusement. He was already half dead, lying in his viscera and more than ashamed of his perceived failure, trying desperately not to show it. Something hard hit his head just as he was hoping for someone, anyone to beat their hinds raw.

Roughly ten seconds later, Spy found himself facing the ceiling of that room he'd been through some hundred times.

A ribbon of warmth scrolled down his body as it materialized slowly. Hardly welcoming, having your parts arranged a few cells at a time. His memory was temporarily compromised before a muffled scream, probably Soldier's, reminded him what he was doing and how he drew all the angry mercs towards himself, and wished he'd forgotten that.

It began to burn just above his knees and cut closer to the bone until it cooled from existence. Straining to sit up, he grimaced at what he saw and screamed.


End file.
